she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
