he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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