the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
