I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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