New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Someone signed my nipple.
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