The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
