i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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