I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
