Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
