I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
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