I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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