Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
