Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just forgot I was standing up.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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