I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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