just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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