Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
