After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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