Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
