First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
