My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
