I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
What did we do last night that was yellow?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
