The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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