she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
