Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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