Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
two words...techno handjob
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
