2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
