You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
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