I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
