if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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