erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
