Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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