I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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