The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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