hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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