Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
