I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
it's great music for shaving your balls
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
