nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
