every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
