She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
