and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I just googled if crying burns calories
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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