just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
