I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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