omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
My vagina just recognized that song.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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