went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
