so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
