check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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