I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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