im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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