Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize