You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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