Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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